One of the many things I LOVED and have implemented in our lives from Elizabeth Pantley’s ~ No-Cry Discipline Solution is the 6 Steps to Staying Calm…

Step 1: STOP

Identify your angry feelings.  Raise your hand to signal STOP…Stop talking.

Step 2: SPACE

Move away from your child or move your child away from you.  Alternate choice, if calm:  SQUEEZE ~ give your childe a big hug.

Step 3: SOOTHE

Calm yourself first.  Take a deep breath, repeat a relaxing phrase, or practice yoga, read, listen to music, or excersise.  Whatever it takes.

Step 4: SEE

Replay what happened in your mind’s eye.  Analyze the situation objectively.

Step 5: SPECIFY

Define the EXACT problem (The problem is…)

Step 6: SOLVE

Decide which parentling skills to use.  Create several possible solutions. Follow through!

This past Saturday was one of our Girl’s Day events.  My best friend and I decided to make the simple act of bathing suit shopping a Girls Day event, we have to get them bathing suits anyway but this way we make it special and its not at any additional cost.  So we got our little ones and headed to the mall where they got to pick out their new suits at the Disney Store complete with new beach bag. We then let them play in the at playground, ride on the carousel, and then we all went to lunch.  It was awesome the girls LOVED it.

I apparently have my daughter brainwashed for Starbucks (hehe), because she insisted on going there to get her little chocolate milk instead of at the vendor in the middle of the mall.

Yes I sprung for the hat too, she wanted it so bad and she just looked too cute in it.  She has one wacky sense of style as you can tell from the outfit she picked out to wear that day.  (purple shirt, sage green capris, and red socks.)  A battle that just isn’t worth fighting in the morning.  She tells me she’s a designer. (I think she’s color blind but hey what are ya gonna do…)

I just finished reading the No Cry Discipline Solution, one of the many books authored by Elizabeth Pantley, and I can honestly say that this is the single most important book that a mother should read, after the obvious What to Expect When You are Expecting.  As you know my daughter is Autistic (low spectrum) so I follow several sites regarding Autism, and Connie Hammer who is a parenting coach recommended this book.  I quickly ran to the library to get it.  I am always looking for a better way of handling the behavioral challenges that I face with my daughter, not only from her Autism, but because I have had ZERO experience with children prior to having her. I didn’t know what to expect with my daughter and for the better part of well… 5 years, I’ve felt completely inadequate and in the dark.

The book started out with correcting my outlook on discipline, by talking about the old aged theories and myths and then provided me with a better more appropriate view and attitude on the very behavioral challenges that I face with Kayla.

It broke down several causes for the behavior problem, bringing me down to my daughters view of things.  It was such an eye opener. So many things we take for granted such as not enough sleep, boredom, enough food, or even their frustration with life, which we can so totally take for granted, can cause the tantrums and arguments.

“Your child’s misbehaviors are a direct result of the fact that she cannot control her emotions.” was a powerful statement to read as Mrs Pantley also compared the very situation to adults. How many times have we as adults not be able to control our emotions? (definitely more than I’d like to admit) So why do I expect it from somebody who has been in this world for only 5 years?

Not to mention my husband always says that when my daughter and I argue we are totally feeding off each other which Mrs Pantley points out: “You would be stunned to know how many negative behaviors you actually prevent from happening when you improve the way you interact with your child.”.

All of this information is just in the first two chapters. The really good stuff comes further on where Mrs Pantley breaks down very specific situations such as bossiness, problems when they are in the car, biting, school, and my personal favorite… interrupting, and provides you with what to do and what NOT to do. I admit there were several “NOT’S” that I have been doing but am correcting those now.

She also discusses dealing with our own anger issues by pointing out the ways you might be feeding fuel to the fire, while also providing you with a 6 step control plan.  It truly is amazing how much we can get off track and cause more of our own problems without even realizing it.

So as I said before I can’t recommend this book enough. I still flip through and re-read bits and pieces in it every morning just so I can help remind myself to see things from my daughters eyes, and to retrain my way of thinking and dealing with what is going on with her. Too often we get wrapped up in our own mind, our own frustrations of the world at our adult level, and we forget or simply write off the “problems” a 5 year old has to face.

Thank you Mrs Pantley for shedding light on all of these issues and helping this mom have a better handle on discipline.

That is the question I asked myself, now that the weather is warming up and I have found it necessary to start wearing deodorant again. Normally during the winter I don’t sweat, I’m too cold.  However, not only did my trusty old deodorant seem extremely heavy on me, but it also seemed to make me smell worse once sweat interacted with it.  Then when I took my shower I had to use so much soap and scrub my arms red to get it off.   I honestly have to admit I actually smelled better without deodorant, still stinky mind you, but not chemically infused stink that wouldn’t come off, it was O’Natural.

Now obviously I really don’t want to stink at all, but what is a girl to do?  I stood in the deodorant isle for 25 minutes examining all the products, all the chemicals in them, and all the promises to get rid of the odor.

I decided to do a little research on the EWG site that I told you guys about a few posts back. (Are Your Cosmetics Safe?).  The first lesson I learned is the ones that have some exotic, fruity, yummy smell are the ones that are LOADED with poisonous chemicals.  So I started checking out the unscented ones, and all I can say is LIAR’s lol, they do too smell.  Some of them smelled so foul I thought I was going to hurl in the isle.

According to the EWG the ones that scored lowest were mostly online ordering types, not one I could buy right now in Target.  So I went down the list to ones scoring below at most a four, which is where I like to try and stay at.  I came up with Ban Original ~ unscented.  Wow, Okay I thought, with a score of 2, and under $2, plus this deodorant has been around for YEARS!  SCORE, lets give it a try.

I must report I am extremely happy with it(obviously since I am writing this post).  There really is no smell, or stink for that matter under my arms.  Now it is the wet roll on which I never much preferred (takes forever to dry), but I am so happy with the results overall that I really can’t complain.  Besides now I have given my hair dryer more purpose LOL.

If you are in the market for a new deodorant or looking to use something a little less toxic, look no further…

Normally I don’t rave about a store brand product, I’m usually rather choosey about what items I’ll consider the store brand option for.  However now a days, I actually am looking at the price tags on the shelf A LOT, all thanks to my new attempts at being frugal.

I recently went to buy my usual Hoover Premium Pet carpet cleaner AGAIN, (hey I like my house clean, I’ve got four cats and a 5 y/o I’m washing the carpets almost weekly, don’t judge!).   I was extremely shocked to see that Walmart’s Great Value Pet Stain Carpet Cleaner Solution was a little over $7 dollars cheaper. WOW that $7 bucks could pay for a case of my Starbucks Frappuccino’s, so I figured it was worth a shot.

I’m so glad I did, I LOVE IT!  It smells so much nicer then the Hoover, and it actually gets the dirt/stains out better.  It even removed an old stain complete with smell that I couldn’t completely get out with the Hoover.

Now I don’t ALWAYS bust out with my carpet machine, I actually bought a spray bottle which I keep with some of the solution in for small messes, and it just works fabulously!   It also works great in both  my Bissell Spot Bot, and my Hoover Steam Vac.

Walmart you did it again, you saved me money!  So save yourself $7 bucks and buy yourself some Frappuccino’s!

My newest idol is Stephanie Nelson the Coupon Mom.  She has an awesome website to help you save as much as you can with coupons and a bit of prep before you go to the store.   I have to admit I have been extremely lazy when it comes to all this, I make a list and most of the time I remember to bring my box of a few coupons, but I never actually look at the store circular I just go to the same one store.  But with times getting tough and tight, I am taking on this new project of learning what the pros already know so I can stretch our dollar as far as possible.  Be sure to check out this video that intrigued me so, and then go sign up on her website like me.

As we all know plastic bottles are out and stainless is in. However I never much liked them for my water because it would leave a metallic taste to it. So I switched to glass bottles which can be bad and good. Bad because they obviously can break and hurt someone, but good because there was no more icky metal taste, plus it was clear so I could easily see what was in it.
This weekend I was on a spring fever kick and decided to hit my ever growing pile of magazines. I was flipping through Women’s Health from September 2008 ( no judging lol).
Anyway, and they gave a groovy tip to do away with that metal taste. Unfortunately for me this won’t help, since I got rid of my stainless bottles, because, get this…the metal taste HA (guess I should have read this magazine back in 2008… ) So I figured I’d spread the word to help others save a few buck$.
Sara Snow recommends rinsing out your bottle with a mild mixture of one cup white vinegar and four cups of water, or one teaspoon of baking soad instead. Do this once every few months or until the taste of metal is gone. Hope this helps!

Joyful Mommy had this ingenious idea of making your own memory game cards.  I bought Kayla Winnie the Pooh memory game which was great when she was 2 and they were the world.  Now she’s older and Winnie the Pooh is totally NOT cool, so I’m stuck with a game she doesn’t want to play.  This groovy idea is three things in one.  A fun craft to do, then a game to use when she’s done, and as she gets older and into new things, she can just keep adding to it.  When she’s older she’ll have an awesome keepsake to hand down to her children and have fun adding to it with them.  Be sure to check out her site for tips on making them. Way to go Joyful Mommy for this new tradition my family is going to start.

She’s got a ton of other groovy ideas too, so be sure to check out her Activities tab at www.joyful-mommies.blogspot.com.

I just love the things that my Kayla comes up with sometimes, right now obviously I blog about it. However if you want to be able to share those darling things with your kids when they have kids, (or to have blackmail material for when they are teenagers hehehe) you might want to journal them down.  However, you could turn the whole thing into a bonding experience and  really get creative, with the following approach…

I started what we call a “memory book” for Kayla. Each year I let her pick out a new notebook, and then I journal in it as though it was being said by her. I add pictures to certain events that we may attend, or the tickets and such. She also goes through and draws, colors or puts stickers throughout it.  Its scrapbooking meets journaling.  I thought it would be fun for her and allow her to express herself, which is a good lesson to learn, as well as the journaling aspect itself being a good therapy to get accustomed to.  Its not really hard to do, and its a fun!

I thought it would make for a good read when she gets older, but she already really loves reading it now. She goes through it all the time. It really helped her with her reading in the beginning too. She saw all the pics of herself, and so desperately wanted to know what it said, so she learned pretty fast. Now I hear her at night reading it to her dollies.

For those of you however who might not be as creative, or don’t have the time,  My Quotable Kid, is a clever idea for jotting down all the adorable things your little angel comes up with.  You can find it in my store it’s $10.17.  It is a little more directed for how and what information it asks, such as date and time, child’s age at the time etc.

So you all know I LOVE my Starbucks Frappuccino’s… but with four cats and a 5 year old I don’t like the mess that usually comes with it(you know the inevitable knocking over).  Hiding it on a high shelf is ok for Kayla, but not the cats, or me who ends up forgetting where I put it.  So put it in a cup you say, well then I have more dishes. Thus making more work for myself.  So I came up with this crazy little thing of use the kitchen scissors (they are wider) poke a quick hole in the top and put a straw in VIOLA!  Now I have a good extra 5-7 seconds before spillage.  I never pull off the security plastic or anything, and since I suck them dry I just toss the whole thing right in the recycle. NO Mess. NO Cleanup.

~Enjoy